I’ve never had one of these.
I don’t quite know what to post on here. Is it a journal? Do I write down my deepest most secret thoughts on here for the whole world to read? That’s not happening.
I’m paranoid. Litterally paranoid. I have what’s called PPD (paranoid personality disorder), or so I think. (I’m afraid of doctors, so I refuse to see one. I’m also afraid of my parents, therefore I will not tell them when something is wrong so that they would feel obligated to contact a doctor.) I’m on WebMD more than I’m on myspace.
Are these supposed to be long?
Am I just supposed to write what’s on my mind? What’s on my mind is a boy. man. boyman. manboy. whatever. He’s wonderful. I fell for him last year, January 10th 2009 (the night my high school’s semi was supposed to be, but was canceled. i ended up at a concert). We dated. I fell harder. Then he stopped all communication. Texts unanswered, calls sent to voicemail. I gave up. I thought about him every day for eight months. I don’t know why. Finally, in December he contacted me again (via facebook chat). We’re going to a show on Friday. I’m scared. I only have tomorrow, the next day, then half of friday to mentally prepare. Now his face is there. It plastered in my mind. Upon closing your eyes, most people see blackness, I see his gorgeous hazel eyes. Sigh. I don’t know how to feel about him.
Bleh.
