June 2010
1 post
:)
Sitting in my front room, reading, waiting for michelle.
Dad sits on the computer, listening to a playlist of all of his music, such as The Who.
Then Mayday Parade’s “Jamie All Over” came on.
I looked at my father, looking content.
I asked him why this was on his playlist.
He said he liked that song.
I have a newfound respect for him.
April 2010
2 posts
Page 53.
I think about all this sometimes when I’m watching a football game with Patrick and Sam. I look at the field, and think about the boy who just made the touchdown. I think that These are the glory days for that boy, and this moment will just be another story someday because all the people who make touchdowns and home runs will become somebody’s dad. And when his children look at his...
Page 33.
And finally he found this really great song about this boy, and we all got quiet.
Sam tapped her hand on the steering wheel. Patrick held his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I just sat between them. After the song finished, I said something.
“I feel infinite.”
And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they had ever heard. Because the song was great...
March 2010
2 posts
death
is a sore subject for me for two reasons. I don’t want to think about them. But when death is brought up at anytime, i.e. in a musical, I tend to loose composure. Why is that something people don’t understand? I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. People always worry. I’m people, I worry. I don’t like anxiety caused by too many people, nor do I like anxiety...
Last night
was a mix of emotions. I woke up yesterday with You Make My Dreams by Hall and Oates stuck in my head. School was whatever, then I went to a show. I’ve seen Patent Pending 4 times now, and it’s pretty much always the same. however I thought, hey. I havent been to a show in a while. Why not? Thank Jesus I decided to go, because I had the best time ever. Seriously. Survey Says is so...
February 2010
3 posts
Work sucks, I know.
So I’m at work currently.
Its no fun. 9.00am alone at a Subway.
Weird shit keeps happening to me.
Call me crazy for believing in the paranormal, but Ryan Buell and I both think I’ve got a poltergeist. [i met him at a penn state fundraiser and asked him about it]
And yesterday I was here, working, and was pouring soup for some old lady and something pushed my arm and made me spill...
It's been a bad day.
I’m paranoid. I know this. Paranoid Personality Disorder. Me.
I’m sick. Physically, not mentally. Maybe I’m just a hypochondriac. I’m constantly weak and tired. I feel drained all of the time. My time in swim which was improving is getting worse. I’m moving backward. My body hurts all of the time.
I feel alone all day long. The crowds of people in the hall just push...
I used to want to kill myself.
Purple and yellow are my new favourite colours. No more greyscale.
I joined a school sport. No more self-relying.
I died my hair back to its natural shade of blonde. No more hiding.
I started listening to All Time Low. No more screaming.
I found love. No more loneliness.
I lost love. No more happiness.
I still want to kill myself.
January 2010
4 posts
Here I stay
alone at my swim meet. I’ve been looking forward to this all week.
i’m not allowed to swim.
at least the opposing team has boys. XD
First day back.
Not a wink of sleep.
I've never had one of these.
I don’t quite know what to post on here. Is it a journal? Do I write down my deepest most secret thoughts on here for the whole world to read? That’s not happening.
I’m paranoid. Litterally paranoid. I have what’s called PPD (paranoid personality disorder), or so I think. (I’m afraid of doctors, so I refuse to see one. I’m also afraid of my parents, therefore I...
“You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you...”